what do You want? What are you expecting? I just feel so overwhelmed sometimes. God, I want to do the right thing. I want to know how I am supposed to handle these things You place in my path. And yet I mess up.. I mess up so much. How does that make You feel about me? What are Your thoughts towards me? It's like - no matter what I do, I feel like it hurts.. it hurts someone.. or something.. I cause more pain.. take more of Your time. Confuse the situations more. God I just wonder why it seems to just flow so easily for some and not for others. I'm told if you do it right it isn't so hard.
Therefore, holy brothers and sisters, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, whom we acknowledge as our apostle and high priest. 2 He was faithful to the one who appointed him, just as Moses was faithful in all God’s house. 3 Jesus has been found worthy of greater honor than Moses, just as the builder of a house has greater honor than the house itself. 4 For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything. 5 “Moses was faithful as a servant in all God’s house,”[a] bearing witness to what would be spoken by God in the future. 6 But Christ is faithful as the Son over God’s house. And we are his house, if indeed we hold firmlyto our confidence and the hope in which we glory. (Hebrews 3:1-6)
God I want Your glory to take place. I want to see Your glory. I want to fix my eyes on Your glory. I want to be in the presence of You and Your glory. How do I do that. I find I am having such a hard time quieting my heart and mind to fix and focus on You, God. I don't want to get wrapped up in trouble... I want to just know You more. I want to understand Who You are.. I want to know what You desire..
I mean truly desire of me... of me and You. God you know my heart .. my heart to love and be loved.. by You.. and thus in the love I have for You, to love others.. specifically one... and children.. God there is so much I am in true desire of, and I wonder what it is that makes it all so challenging to reach..
I know I don't give You what You deserve. I know I fall short so much. I just want to seek and know you more.
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