Pushing..

I can sense the pressure ... on all four walls of the room I will call my heart.  I feel the pushing.. this intense pushing in that cannot be resisted no matter what attempt I try to push back.  And I can't figure out what it is that is pushing.  I can see the walls closing in tighter.. and I can feel it.  I can feel it as if I were in a huge crowd with thousands of people - all trying to get to the same place by going different directions.  The pushing.. the weight of their pushing is almost unbearable.  Do I push back?  Do I get overtaken?  Do I sink to the ground thinking the pressure will be less, but knowing the trampling of feet will just stomp the remaining life out of me?

I can't figure out what this feeling of anxiety is that is overwhelming my heart, but I can't seem to escape it.  I have prayed for everyone...
"God, whatever is happening to Tim right now, I ask that You are with him in this situation - and give him peace and support.. and give him comfort knowing how badly I want to help be there to comfort and support and encourage Him"

"God I pray for Tara and her situations that are currently out of her control but have never left Your hands.  God I thank You for peace that passes ALL understanding in her life right now".

"God, I love Sara and the heart You have for her, and I want You to move on behalf of the hurts in her heart.  God she has a heart of gold, as Tim once said.. and I want You to make that gold so shiny... I want You to bring forward healing in her heart.. toward the precious heart that she has..."

"God - if Colorado is You - again.. show me.. show us.. God I'm so scared.. and I know I need not be afraid.. but I am... I am afraid of Your plans.. good afraid.. bad afraid.. God just help me to trust You above all else.. above all else.."

God I'm so ready for more of You.. Help me to find my peace in You.. my calm from the storm in You.. God... it is all about You.. nothing else.. nothing more.. nothing less.. just You.. and I crave this.. and I want this.. and I long for this..